28 March 2012

Kindness is: Flushing the Toilet

Warning:  This post contains the word "poop" in several instances, and could possibly bring about a nauseating sensation.  
Reader discretion is advised.

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

What is WRONG with some percentage of the female population?  Why must we behave so poorly in an already uncomfortable situation?  

I hate public restrooms as much as the next chick, and I hate the fact that I need them.  

Yes, in fact, we all need them.  No one can go all day, everyday without "the urge" overtaking the strength of their bladder (or sphincter- love that word).  
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.  
Am I right, or am I right?

The problem I have is this:
Not everyone goes to the bathroom with the same amount of grace and dignity that I personally try to demonstrate, whether at home or in public.  

I mean, let's just start with washing your hands when you're done with your business.  Is this not considered important any longer?  Is it just acceptable and not-digusting-at-all to finish up and touch surfaces with your germy hands?

Moving on... I realize that some of us would rather be "the squatter" than use seat protectors- they are loud, and crinkly, and totally pointless anyway.  But... if you're a squatter and mess up the seat beneath you, is it not in MY best interest that you clean up your nasty pee from the seat so that I don't have to worry about accidentally sitting on it when it soaks through my previously mentioned pointless seat protector?  Toilet paper serves many, many purposes, ladies.  Let's get creative... and sanitary?  please.

It gets to a whole other level of sofouligaggedjustthinkingaboutit when poop comes into play.  
First of all, I get it.  The bottom line here, folks, is that everybody poops.  (that's right men- we poop just like you!!!).  But could we all just agree to be respectful of each other?  

Here are some things that I think would help in poopy situations:

The Courtesy Flush:  I am a HUGE fan of this one.  Not only do I believe in sparing my stall-neighbor, but I don't wanna smell your doo either.  Just a quick, fair flush.

The Double/Triple/HoweverManyTimesItTakesToGoDown Flush:  Don't just leave your doo in the toilet for me to stumble upon.  Take care of your own shit, literally.

The Once Over:  Let's all just make sure that our poo, in its entirety, makes it INTO the toilet bowl.  Not onto the seat, not on the wall or floor.  We're not animals here, are we?  ARE WE?

And lastly, please, no grunting.

Hilarious via one of my favorite websites
Okay... well that felt good to get off my chest.

I'm sorry for the sofouligaggedjustthinkingaboutit post, and I apologize if it offended anyone. 
But I was inspired in a not-so-good way earlier today
when I was the unsuspecting victim of another woman's disgustingness.

Thoughts?  Reactions?  Have you ever felt this way?  TMI?

Have a GREAT rest of the day, and may the Poop Gods be in your favor.




  1. Hahahaha, oh my gosh, this made me laugh!! I hate when people are grunters in the bathroom. Totally awkward! But I do have to admit that I am a squatter. I cannot sit on a toilet seat in public. Heck to the no.

    1. Squatting is where it's at. Can't trust anyone to be sanitary. BAH! I thought about taking this post and leaving ti in the bathroom here at work anonymously. I haven't made a firm decision yet... but I think it might help. And that's what I'm here for. ;)

      Meg :)

  2. This post was hilarious and accurate on all points. I am definitely a squatter as well. I don't feel like liners protect from anything, and it feels terrible for the environment to use them.

    1. Another reason not to use them!! They're truly pointless. Just another thing to spend money on...

      Thanks for reading! Have a good weekend!

      Meg ;)


Thank you for taking the time to read this little blog. Comments make me feel appreciated. And who doesn't like that? ;)

Kindly- Meghan

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