The ABC Rundown

Age: 29 and rapidly approaching 30!  I may be the only woman alive who is fully ready to embrace thirtyhood.

Bed size: Queen. Obviously, I'd like a King-sized bed, but mainly for my poor hub who I corner to the edge of the bed every night.  A girl's gotta spread out during her beauty rest.

Chores you hate: Sweeping and Mopping.  I do a mean vacuum-job, but I literally refuse to acknowledge a mop's existence.  And yes, I did just say "vacuum-job," and considered being inappropriate for just a sec.

Dogs: Such amazing creatures.  Our doggie Riley Roo is such a mommy-dog to our boys.

Essential start to your day: Coffee.  Is there anything else?

Favorite color: Any shade of orange, followed closely by purple.  And the combo of the two... SHUT UP!

Gold or silver: I have switched back to wearing a lot of silver, but I think gold is SO much more feminine than silver.  Or maybe that's just how it makes me  feel.  Luxurious.

Height: 5feet7inches, and in my family, I'm the short one.  I'm pretty sure I was meant to be about 5'10" though with my feet at about a size 10.5.  Yay coffee and cigarette use in my youth!
Instruments you play: The kazoo.  Okay, maybe not.  I am a phenomenal guitarist and bassist on Rock Band!!!  Also, I played the handbells in a bell choir when I was in the 4th and 5th grades.  Impressed?

Job title: I work full-time as an Account Representative at a university.  Try not to be jealous on this one.

Kids: We have 2, as I am sure I have mentioned once or twice before.  Both are boys.  There is a miniscule possibility of having a third, and if we don't, we will adopt.  And then that's it, damn it!  No more!!!
 

Liam's got a way about him...

Live: In the Lovers State.

Mother's name: Karen.  Bless her.

Nicknames: Currently, "Meg."  And Mom.  I suppose that's more of a title though.  My hub calls me "Kitty," which I love.  Some others from the course of my history: Meggers, Megsy, PegLegMeg (funny story!), NutMeg, Megalicious, Megasaurus, SirMegsALot, Gonzo, Sugala.

Overnight hospital stays: See "Kids."

Pet peeves: This requires a "list format"

• People who CHEW really loud, especially when we're having a conversation (in person or on phone); unfinished work; 
• People who don't use their blinkers (you know, those little flashing lights that let me know when you're about to cut me off!!); 
• Rudeness; passive-aggressiveness; laziness (all oddly related to the non-use of blinkers!); 
• The skateboarders in my neighborhood; 
• Too-tight jeans; 
• Spending an hour on my hair only to walk outside into a humid-hell; 

I could really go on and on, but I'll stop for the sake of my blood pressure.

Quote from a movie or show: I'm into funny movies:

Due Date

Peter Highman: "Number 2: if you're allergic to waffles, don't eat waffles!"
Ethan Tremblay: "Then don't take me to a waffle house!"

 Hilarious.

 Righty or lefty: Both, but I work predominantly with my right hand.

Siblings: Mike and Melissa- both are younger than me, both are incredible people in their own regard.  I don't see Mike often enough as we live 2 states away from each other.  I haven't seen my sister in 5 years.  I miss them both.

Time you wake up: HA!!!  As early as 4:00 a.m. and no later than 5:30 a.m.  This is why I  get a free (daily) pass to act insane.

Underwear: Um, no comment.

Vegetable you hate: I like nearly all veggies except for peas or beans (lima, kidney).  And because I'm a freak of nature, I hate mashed potatoes.  I like hate hate them.

What makes you run late: Children.  Slow drivers in the fast lane (ooo, another pet peeve!).  Forgetting something at home.  Trying on every piece of clothing I have before settling on the first thing I tried on (aka- every morning).

X-rays you've had: Just for dental work.

Yummy food you make: I love to cook, and my hub tells me that he loves everything I make.  But my specialties are Chicken Tortilla Soup, Spaghetti, Shrimp and Herb Pasta, Eggs, Salads (any and all kinds).

Zoo animal: Sad face.

Well, this was fun and took up some time!  Thanks for sharing, Lauren!  Yours was fun to read!  We should have linked these up!  Next time  ;)



Kindly~

Meghan

I remember....

... when putting my shoes on before leaving the house didn't require me holding a baby in one hand and pointing Liam to the door with the other- purse, car seat AND diaper bag in tow.

... when I was a phone-talker.  

Not no mo'.

... when I had those crucial dancing skillzzz.

Sookie sookie now

... when all I had to worry about was homework, riding bikes after school, and what my mom was going to make for dinner.

... when I didn't know myself.

... when I thought being "cool" meant being like everyone else.

... when I thought that being really really skinny would make my really really happy.

... when I could have sworn my parents were out to get me.

... when I had more than 7 friends.

According to Facebook, I still have over 200 friends!!!!

... when I placed more emphasis on outer beauty than inner strength.

... when I realized that inner strength had a direct effect on my appearance.

... feeling alone almost my entire life, and hating it.

Alone time, now, can I please have some?

... the way my husbands hands felt on the day we got married.

... hearing both of my boys cry for the first time.

... the very moment I began to value myself.

Isn't life funny/ironic/beautiful/precious!?

Me and my little brother Michael, circa 1987/1988.  Miss you Mike  ;)

Kindly~

Meghan

Silver Linings

 "The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.  So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love."

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."

Friends-

Even if it's only for today, I beg you, be kind to yourself and know that although everything may not happen for a reason, you can MAKE a reason for everything.

Kindly and with LOVE-

Meghan

Note to Self

Give yourself a BIG BEAR HUG!!! 

 That's right!  Just like when you were little and all your friends giggled because it looked like you were kissing yourself.  Little did you know (way back when) that it is perfectly acceptable to give yourself a little LOVE!

 As important as outward kindness is, the same is true for practicing love toward yourself! 

Self-love, (yes, even that kind), is Healthy with a capital H.  

There are times when you need your own love and kindness more than you need it from anyone else.  There are times when the most important reminder you can give yourself is to "Be Gentle."  

Be gentle with your emotions and feelings, be gentle with your thoughts and ideas, be gentle with how you move through the day(s)... Be patient with yourself.

.... in bed .... ;)

 This ends up having an outward effect; yes, in fact, the attitude that you adopt toward yourself will ultimately radiate in waves to those you have regular contact with.  But it begins and ends with you... the "self."  

It is so easy to forget, to overlook, to sacrifice, our "selves" to tend to external obligations, including relationships.  It is so easy to get caught up in "life" and skip over the part where your own needs are being met.  

But let's face it.... no one is going to meet your needs for you without your own participation!  You need to involve yourself in your own LIFE!!

Next time you are looking for solace or reassurance, maybe before or after you have confided in loved ones, make it a point to be still with yourself and fill the voids with love.   

You have to start somewhere with this whole self-love business.   

One way or another, you're going to have to face yourself.  One way or another, you're going to have to begin to love and respect yourself enough that you settle for nothing else from anyone else.  

If nothing else, try looking in the mirror, and as awkward as you may think you look, just smile.  And smile BIG!

Kindly-

Meghan

Let's all treat ourselves to some affection from time to time. 

If you don't have anything nice to say.....

"No power in society, no hardship in your condition can depress you, keep you down, in knowledge, power, virtue, influence, but by your own consent."  

~William Ellery Channing~

We are a social species, and we have a tendency to allow our self-images to be rooted in the opinions or (mis)conceptions of others.  

It is far too easy to become trapped by labels and "definitions" that others place on you.  

While it is nice to be aware of your affect on those you love, and it is important to be mindful of how you might make others feel, it is also important to try hard not to base your self-worth and dignity on external opinions.  

To be a good person, to  be honest and kind to yourself and others, and to make choices that will lead you with happiness; these are the measures by which I have learned to base my moral and personal pride.  

I have started to narrow down what makes me most happy: To be kind--- all around KIND. 

While this may seem to contradict my above statements (on not defining yourself by others standards), it is (also) is a decision I made for myself.  Because being kind to other people is what makes ME feel good.  Also, it is something that my family, in particular my mother, taught me, and I find it to an invaluable characteristic to pass down from generation to generation.  

I have two sons who motivate me daily, and are a huge source of inspiration to be kind and treat people nicely.  I hope they learn from me what I have learned from me my Mom.

I hope to make this more of my focus on this platform, my blog.  I hope to chronicle the special ways in which I display random acts of kindness. 

This was inspired by quite a few people, but most recently, I have rediscovered a global campaign that I find to be absolutely beautiful.  It's called Guerilla Goodness, and if you follow that link, you can read all about it.  I hope you take the time to do so, and I hope it finds a place into your heart as it has with mine over the last 3 years, and mainly within the last few weeks.

Kindly,

Meghan

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The Awakening

 There comes a time in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop
dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your
head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down
after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside,
you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears
and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look
at the world from a new prospective.  

This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for
something, or someone, to change...or for happiness, safety
and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come
to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you. So, you begin
making your way through the "reality of today" rather than
holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize
that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is,
in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've
received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift
through all the nonsense you were taught about:

- how you should look and how much you should weigh
­ what you should wear and where you should shop
­ where you should live or what type of car your should drive
­ who you should sleep with and how you should behave
­ who you should marry and why you should stay -

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really
believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown,
or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone
will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and
that's OK...they are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size
5 or a "perfect 10"....Or a perfect human being for that matter...
and you stop trying to compete with the perfect image inside your head
or agonizing over how you "stack up." And, you make peace
with the woman in the mirror and you learn to give her the same
unconditional love and support you give so freely to others.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer"
hungry for your next fix...a new dress, another pair of shoes...or looks
of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who
pass by. And you discover that..."it is truly in giving that we
receive"...and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of
the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" & "contributing"
rather than "obtaining" & "accumulating."

And you begin to love and to honor yourself.
And you stop engaging in self-destructive behavior
including participating in dysfunctional relationships.
And you begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water
and taking more time to rest and exercise.

Then you learn about love and relationships...how to love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving...and when to
walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly
loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean
what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not
everyone will always come through...and interestingly enough,
it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing
fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done
to you...or weren't done for you. And you learn to acknowledge
and redirect the feelings of anger, jealousy and resentment you
sometimes feel...least they suffocate your spirit and steal your soul.

You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their
own human frailties and to build bridges instead of walls...and
you learn about the healing power of love as it is expressed
through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture...At the
same time, you eliminate ANY relationships that are hurtful or fail
to uplift and edify you. And you stop working so hard at smoothing
things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings
of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want
or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating
your needs. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose
to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you
learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the
importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn
that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save
the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

And, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as
you would have them be and you are careful not to project your
neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that
you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable
or important because of the man on your arm or the child that
bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change
so it is with love and relationships....and that not everyone
can always love you the way you would want them to or live life
just to suit your needs, ease your insecurities or meet "your"
standards and expectations. And, you learn the difference between
wanting and needing and you stop trying to control people, situations
and outcomes. And, you learn that "alone" does not mean
"lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending
time "with yourself" and "on yourself."

You avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time
and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends because
you've learned that talking about things doesn't change them. You
learn that wishing for something is different from working to make
it happen. And you begin to invest your time and energy to affect
positive change. You take a personal inventory of the areas you need to
improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a
plan of action to see things through. 

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what
you think you deserve. You stop personalizing every loss or disappointment.
You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and
that these things are not an act of God...but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees because you've learned that the
only thing you can really count on is the unexpected...and that
whatever happens, you'll learn to handle it. And you learn that the
only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time
FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears
because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your
terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy
and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life
living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY...the personal power and
independence it brings and the options it creates. And
you recognize the necessity, to create your own personal
wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's
desire. And you live with honor and integrity...because you
know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a
by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every
wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang
a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what
beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you
take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the
life you want to live as best as you can.

Written by: Sonny Carroll 

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My Daily Anthem

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It's the little things

...right?

Some days, it really is the little things that keep my head above water.  

Some days, I would just rather not think about the heavy stuff.

Some days, I simply can't.

And some days, I am just so heartbroken for those around the world who are suffering, I can't help but be thankful for all the little pieces of magic that surround my ordinary life.

These are just some of the things that supply me with satisfaction:

Each song is a personal savior of mine

A little ditty from the album...

Blue nail polish and Starbucks (duh)

I have colored nail polish (still) and I am NOT afraid to use it.

Bright flowers sent by even brighter people

Look at that bad boy right in the center, hogging the entire show.  :)

A silly but sentimental keepsake

Bren gave me this when we were first dating.  It was kind of a joke (he found it on a table outside of his work), but I played along and pretended like it was the best gift I had ever received.  It turns out, it was.  I have saved it for years now.  He laughs at me that I've kept it.  But I love it.  I just do.

I'm still six

My relationship with Spaghetti-0's is borderline insane...

Mid-day pictures of my adorable niece, Peyton

...For obvious reasons...

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wise soul

I love to think of the many adventures Liam will live through, and what these adventures will eventually lead him to love and do and be and dream.  I love to think about what an amazing person he is and will continually become as he gets older.

I sing him a song, just mine to him, called Little Mister Liam.  It is to the tune of Jimmy Buffett's Little Miss Magic.  Of course, I have changed some words and personalized it for him.  It is a special song I have been singing him since he was a teeny tiny baby.

It starts out:  "Constantly amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling."  (Bubba hears his name in there, and thinks the words are "Constant Liam mazed..." Silly kid!)

My version ends with "Little Mister Liam, what ya gonna be?" 

Yesterday, after singing him this song on the way home, I thought I would ask what he wanted to be when he grew up, when he was big like mommy and daddy.  I figured he would give a typical kid answer... Mickey Mouse or Special Agent Oso (his newest idol).  Don't ask me why I would think he would respond with a typical kid answer... he's far from that.

So I said: "Bubba, what do you think you would like to be when you grow up?"

And to my amazement, he thinks hard for a couple seconds before looking at me and saying: "I want to be Liam."

What a beautiful answer!!  And he was dead.serious.

I swear my kid is wise beyond his years.  Over and over, he amazes me with some of the things that fly out of his mouth.

Once again, in this moment, I found myself overtaken by gratitude.  And crying.  Yes, crying.   

Yeah, yeah... Cut me some slack... my hormones are under siege.

#luckiestwomanalive

#mostamazingsonicouldaskfor

#ilovebeingamom 

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Coffee, Carrots, Eggs

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. 

She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. 

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."  

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. 

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, "What does it mean?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently:

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. 

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. 

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?  

Source

 

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Source

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

 

Source

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. 

 When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? 

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. 

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

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On my mind this Monday

My hub is on my mind today, like most days.  I hope to get a second to tell him how much he means to me.  I try to tell him everyday, in one way or another.  A text, a kiss, a hug... an actual "thank you."  I feel a date night brewing.  Date nights are SO important for any couple, but especially a mom/dad couple.  Nights away from the babe are critical in order to plug some romance, some spontaneity back into the connection.  What if, just for tonight, we weren't co-parents? We were co-people? You be a man. I'll be a woman. That's all.

My boy is ALWAYS on my mind, but especially recently.  The poor thing is going through a awful phase right now... I think they call it the 'terrible two's.'  There has been no hitting or kicking.  No throwing or spitting.  No screaming or tantrums.  None of the things {I thought} were classified under the term 'terrible two's.'  Instead, Bubba is an emotional wreck.  He has always been a VERY sensitive child (much like I was and am ;)), but lately, all he wants to/can do is cry.  And it has me totally lost/heartbroken, frustrated/drained.  I suppose this is a natural thing for both child and parent.  It's a test of the relationship, and it will only increase understanding and togetherness (at least that is my hope).  But in the midst of it, I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I turned to my wonderful mom, Karen, for support, and she simply told me: "Just love him."

Yeah.... she's pretty great!

School!  I came into work today to find out that I Aced this semester to the tune of a 3.85 GPA.  Good enough (I think) to keep me on the Dean's List.  And so, yeah, this makes me happy.  Being an almost 30 something with a husband and kid at home (I would say family, but husband and kid sounds a little more daunting, doesn't it?!), it has not been easy to keep up with my degree.  But I am working off of sheer will-power here, people.  Pure gusto.  Earning my degree falls in line right below my family on my list of priorities.  Sorry work, you didn't make the cut... even though I need you.  Okay, so I'll give work #3 on my list of importance/daily attention...

Finally, and last but NOT least, my Aunt Rosie, who is my Great Aunt (both generationally and complimentary) is heavy on my mind and in my heart. She has been in a nursing home for 5-or-so-years now, and had a stroke last week.  This was not her first stroke, but thankfully, it will be her last.  Her closest family members (my Great Uncle Lloyd and her sons, Larry and Irvin) decided to take her off meds, oxygen, and food, and simply let her pass.  She made it clear that this is what she wanted.  She has said for years now that she was "ready to go," but her body just wouldn't give up on her.  I was able to see her yesterday.  I was able to tell her how much I love her, how much she has always meant and will always mean to me, and I was able to kiss her goodbye.  I'm so thankful for that opportunity.  And I am begging the powers-that-be to take her peacefully, gently and soon.

It is so important to stay close to those special people in your life.  To tell those whom bring you joy just that; that they make you happy.  It is important to live in love rather than try to impose your love upon others.  Let the way in which you carry yourself speak louder than words ever could.  And lastly, look in the mirror and get to know yourself.  It begins and ends with you....